My Testimony
“Beauty for Ashes…
Gladness for mourning
Praise for despair”
My name is Elsa Yolanda Ayres but I am called “Jo”, short for Yolanda. I was born in Anasco Puerto, Rico, the third out of four girls. When I was four years old my Dad decided that we should all move to the United States, to Michigan where his brother now lived and was working and doing well for himself. At first I did not like it; it was too cold in the winter. Often I would say to my Dad “Oh daddy, let’s go back to the country.”
My family was very religious, we always went to church. In fact, I rarely ever missed church until I was 18 years old.
When I was 18 years old I got my first full time office job at a company in Downtown Detroit. I met some very bad people and they introduced me to a different life style. I began going to bars with them, drinking alcohol and staying out late at night.
One month after my 19th birthday, in one of those bars, I met a man 11 years older than me. At the end of a year and a half of dating him, I became pregnant and he didn’t want anything to do with it. He gave me money for an abortion. I went to a broken down, filthy house somewhere in downtown Detroit and I was given an abortion.
But thank God the abortion did not work. Because of God’s great Mercy, today I have a wonderful son, a great daughter-in-law and two beautiful grandchildren.
Getting back to my story, I truly loved my parents and did not want to hurt and embarrass them so I planned to go away, have the baby, give it up for adoption and come home as if nothing had ever happened. My Uncle, who had first come to the United States, was now living in California. So I called my cousin and made arrangements to stay with him and they agreed not to tell my parents. Although my Uncle, Aunt and cousins showed me great love, acceptance and care, I was so lonely in California. I wanted to go home.
When I was eight months pregnant, my Aunt came to me and said that my parents had found out that I was pregnant and they were about to call. The phone rang and I only remember talking to my Father. I said “Dad what should I do with this baby?” He said, “Only you can make that decision– we just want you to come home.” I called the airlines to get a ticket, but they would not allow me to purchase a ticket at eight months pregnant. So I had to stay.
The day came and I gave birth. At the end of four days in the hospital I went home to my Aunt’s house and my baby went home with its new parents. It was Easter Sunday morning and I was in bed, in pain, feeling so lonely. I looked up to heaven and said “God did I do the right thing?” I heard an audible voice say, “There is no reason on earth why you shouldn’t keep him.” To make a long story short, we went and got my baby. I named him Phillip.
I thank the Lord for Phil. I have received more joy from my son than I could have ever imaged. But I paid a price for disobeying God’s commandments. I would never tell anyone to have a child without being married. God has a plan and His way is always the best–But He can make something beautiful out of our mistakes. Isaiah 61:3 tells us “and provide for those who grieve in Zion– to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.”
My son and I returned home and my Father and Mother loved him “like their very own.” They loved me and forgive me and accepted me as if I had never brought them any pain. I wish I could say that I learned a lesson, but I did not. I continued in my path of disobedience to God.
I had gone to church until I was 18 and I knew that the life I was living was wrong, therefore, I thought that there was no hope for me. I was sure that God could never love me again because I had disobeyed him too often. I had a sister who would continually tell me that only those who believed in Jesus could go to heaven and the rest would die and go to Hell. I was sure I was going to Hell.
Then one day when I was 24 I felt this emptiness inside me. I wanted God so much. I stopped at church everyday after work. I bought a Bible and started to read it, but I couldn’t understand it. I wanted to fill this emptiness inside me and I wondered if my sister’s church could help me. I called my sister and told her I would like to go to church with her. My son and I went to church with her on a hot Sunday in July.
I listened to all the Pastor had to say. Then the Pastor said: “Is there anyone here who feels empty, lonely, sad, and tired of living in sin. Are you a sinner? Have you been living a life without meaning? Do you feel you are lost and worthless?” I felt all those things. I felt that Jesus could not want a person like me. I hadn’t cared about God for a long time. I had just been living to please myself. Everything I did was to make me happy. I thought, I’m all those things the Pastor was saying, and so I thought I might as well give in and take all the punishment coming to me.
Then the Pastor said “Jesus does not want to punish you. He wants to Love you. He wants you to love Him.” For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV)
The Pastor said that Jesus took the punishment, paid the price for all our sins. All anyone has to do now is to BELIEVE that Jesus died for their sins. Believe it and tell Jesus you believe it. Ask Jesus to take your sins away. The Bible tells us: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NIV)
I looked at my sister and said “I want that.” We walked together to the front of the church. I asked Jesus to take me and forgive me.
God has been so good to me.
- He pardoned me of all my sins.
- He called me to work for Him. Six months after my decision to follow him, I enrolled in Bible College. God gave me the job of teaching the Word of God to others.
- He gave me a wonderful Christian husband who adopted my son and their love for each other is very great.
When God gives us the gift of Eternal Life he does not tell us that everything will be perfect and free of suffering. But He does give many promises to those who believe in Him.
- Jesus promises to live in us and be with us even though we cannot see Him.
- Jesus promises to be our friend.
- Jesus promises that when we die, we can live with Him forever.
God wants to give us good things and all he asks in return is that we try our best to live for Him. To leave our old way of life and live according to the Bible.
Have you decided to live for Jesus?
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Rom 6:23 NIV)
Would you like to have your sins pardoned and begin a new life in Jesus?
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Cor 5:17 NIV)
Talk to God, Say to Him in your own words:
- God, I believe that Jesus Christ is your Son.
- I believe that Jesus died on the cross to take away my sins.
- Forgive me for the sins I have committed.
- Be my Savior.
- Help me become the type of person that pleases you.
- I thank you for hearing this prayer.
If you prayed this prayer, you have become a child of God and Jesus lives in you now and forever.
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—(John 1:12 NIV)
(Acts 16:31 NIV) They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved–you and your household.”
(Rom 10:9 NIV) That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
(Acts 4:12 NIV) Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”
If I can help you in any way, contact me at jo@joayres.com or by filling out this contact form: